United Kingdom • 54 y/oReviews Received
Wow! Great!
One thing, the ending was a little confusing. Was the narrator playing the guitar or the version of himself playing the guitar?
It encaptured me like light (it would make sense if you knew me)! I hope I get to hear more!
Wow. I almost fell over. That was great!! Please do write more like this!!
Amazing!! I tend to avoid reading things about different religions (it just makes me uncomfortable), but that was great and changed my whole prospective! Good luck for the future!
Wow!! It sounds great! I knew it was a father or stepfather at about the third paragraph, but that's just because I have read things like this. There are a few grammar errors, but besides that it's great!
Ohh, excellent!
I loved this. The beginning in particular reminded me of The Catcher in the Rye. The way you developed the character throughout the story was magnificent, and also, I think this is a real thing which people can easily connect with!
Extremely good work... However, I would like to point out two areas for you to improve:
- Imagery.
- The character acted a little too sentimental considering his previous thoughts.
Simply amazing! Brilliant. A poor child's innocence... Abusive Father... Helpless mother... Every single thing is so subtly conveyed with so little text. Children have the amazing ability to speak cute and short.