United States • 23 y/o • MaleReviews Received
I like your description of the door, and the idea of currents in a room is interesting. You should've had a capital S at the start of Spanish, but overall this is good.
Not bad!
this is really good! one thing; "first, the allarm bells began," i don't think alarm has two L's. XD not sure if you meant to do that
I was long but good
I like the way you fuse the everyday with the sci-fi. Even in outer space daughters can be irritated by over-protective mothers. Her inner conflict over answering the call is believable and you wrote a good cliffhanger.
This isn't my first time reading this, but unlike the other times, it really connected to me. I'm not sure if I read the tone right, but it feels (to me) like stating fact. The narrator isn't bemoaning their life, in fact, they occasionally seem morbidly amused. To them, they're stating facts of life, even if it it sad. Anyway, good work.
Emotive and creepy. Really enjoyed this.
Sounds a lot like some intelligent kid who is afraid of the unknown 'things' that dwell in the darkness.
The mattress part is exactly what I used to do when I was young and shared the room with my younger sister.
It inspires me to fight against my fear rather than just hiding under a blanket and pretending to be asleep.
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