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WatermelonSTORY

WatermelonSTORY is from KR Korea, Republic of • 16 y/o

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ Writing for your Entertainment !✧゚・: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

Reviews Given

happy birthday by scorp

What do we forget as we grow up?

We may have forgotten what caused us to feel energized every day. The author of “happy birthday” communicates the declining happiness as people mature by showing a musing speaker who personifies the memories of the childhood. In stanza 4, the speaker “loathe the easiness of [his or her childhood’s] short life.” This may imply that the speaker is already grown up, and the happy memories as a kid is making the current life be so unpalatable that the speaker wants to forget the past. In stanza 5, the personified childhood finally asks the speaker, presumably while crying, "Why are you like this?" However, during the conversation between the childhood, the speaker does not know the reason of having “[bloody] knees and [a] battered face” (stanza 6), and replies “I don’t know.” The speaker perhaps has been too ignoring the inevitable pain in life to forget the source of the pain. When the childhood spots the wounds, the theme that happiness decreases as people grow returns.

In my opinion, the poem was good. Other than what I have mentioned above, there were many other smart techniques. Though it was hard to understand in first few minutes, I think the vagueness was intentional

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After the Lecture by HSuys

In my opinion, even though the middle section did not hold my interest for a long time, the creative ending was memorable. In the middle section, there were too less description of the character. As the story progressed, I could not follow the pace of the narration. In addition to the pacing problem, I personally did not like how the supernatural phenomenon was not fully explored. It is interesting for me to see objects disappearing after a flashing flash of light, but it would be more interesting if the character conducts a few makeshift experiments like throwing a ball to the supernatural, problematic place, for example. However, at the end of the story, the second narrator suddenly appears and says that the story was found in a bottle letter. This adds reality to the story, and I personally like the idea. Taken together, the story is right in the border of okay and poor, personally speaking.

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The Funeral by NobodyImportant

I really liked the description and the structure, but sometimes the story was hard to follow. I had to read the story three times and to use Google Translate in order to find out who is in the coffin: the daughter of the main character. I got mixed up in paragraph 6 that the main character's sister was in the coffin, too. However, the deep emotional experience of the main character was described so vivid that I recalled the death of my family. All in all, the story was okay. To improve it furthermore, I recommend the author to give a general description or a general narration of the situation which the main character is facing.

If someone else can follow the story like a flowing water, then it is because I am a beginner in English, sorry.

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