Zerodsu

A part from the grammar mistakes and so on. Well written! It's not because there are mistakes, that the story is bad. Writing is about sharing a story, not about telling everyone how good your grammar is. That is for language. Don't pay too much attention to this person. Keep it up! :) ps: Mrald wrote: "with all the grammatical all" that sentence is not really correct either xD and infront of a "but" should be a comma :P