God damn,
This has been my vice for far too long,
No way in,
And no way out,
Which way is up?
Which way is down?
I'm caught in a perpetual whirlwhind of my own thoughts.
Pick up the blades,
Wait,
No put that away,
Pick up that joint,
Take a hit,
Fade away.
Find the bottle,
Why not just finish it off?
Damn don't I have a rpoblem?
I wish I knew which way was the right way out,
I used to know how to stop,
How to control this,
How to get off this merry-go round.
But now,
Now I'm stuck,
Stuck in a vicious cycle of repition.
Repition and subsitution,
If it's not this then it's that,
Always some form of self-destruction,
What is happiness?
I just want to be happy for once,
But I can't seem to find it long term,
Damn,
I just want to stay sober.
I just want to quit all these terrible habits.
My life consists of,
Self-isolation,
Subsitution,
And repition.
You know this cycle,
Don't you?
I'm tired of wasting people's time,
Seems to be all I do nowadays.
Author Notes: *I've gotten a lot better since this point, but I'm just uploading all of my work up to this point*
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United States • 24 years old