It was a sunny Monday morning. I was getting myself ready to visit you. I showered and ate breakfast in a hurry at the thought of seeing you again. I grabbed some flowers to give to you as I walked past the neighborhood that we used to walk on together. As I approached closer to where you are right now, my heartbeat gets faster and wild thoughts began racing in my head. I held the flowers tightly in my hand. “What if...?” I started thinking. Then I shook my head and forced these thoughts out of my mind. With shaky hands and a heavy heart, I opened the door.
The sight of you breathing and laying down peacefully in that bed took all those worrisome thoughts away and that heavy burden on my chest. I smiled at you and kissed your forehead as I placed the flowers I picked earlier by your bedside. I sat down in a chair beside you and took your hand. “It’s me. It’s been 353 days. I’m still here. I had a bad day yesterday. I…I just wish you were home.” I said as I felt your hand in my face. I looked around the room, then at you. It’s funny how a single person can give you a million memories. As I revisit those old memories, I remember all those promises that you gave to me. How you said you would really stand up and clap so loud that moment that I would receive that diploma you and I have been praying for. How we would have such a great time travelling the world together after I land on my first job. How you would be happy to see me walking down that aisle you and I have been planning ever since. How you would love to meet my mini me’s when the time comes. But I’m looking at you now, hopeless and doubtful that you would be able to fulfill these promises.
My thoughts were interrupted when your doctor came into the room. “We need to talk.” He said. “Is there any other way? I mean… is it possible…?” I asked, fighting the urge to burst into tears. The doctor hung and shook his head. I sighed deeply, holding your hand tighter and looking at you harder. “Hold on, I still want you.” I whispered, a tear escaping down my cheek. But I know it was no use. Your time in this world was up and I just have to accept that in my heart. I looked at the doctor and nodded. He looked at me with sadness in his eyes and I know he knows how I feel. He turned off the machine that was supposed to give you life but now was taking it away from you. I pulled you in and I felt your heartbeat. Nothing. Oh, how I wished I didn’t do what I just did. How I wished you would just wake up and I would tell you we could go home. But I know it was a different home you’re going to now. As I looked at you one last time, there was only one thing repeating in my mind: “Come back, I still need you.”
Author Notes: This story was inspired by my grandmother who passed away long ago, Chord Overstreet's song "Hold On" and my burning love for Stranger Thing's Mileven. Lol.
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Philippines • 22 years old