Please register or login to continue

Register Login

A Conversation With My Best Friend
A Conversation With My Best Friend

A Conversation With My Best Friend

3 Reviews

It’s a Mood

- Hi, Sister.

- Hey.

- I have a story that has a moral.

- Oh boy. The last time you told me a story was when you smashed your back into a concrete counter and somehow bent the corner.

- No, that was the one before. The last one I told you is how I threw a candy wrapper away then turned around and almost killed myself with the door frame.

- Oh yeah, that one!

- My head still hurts from that one.

- No wonder. Why are you so clumsy?

- How am I suppose to know? It’s not like I’m doing- OWWW! My funny bone!

- *sigh* We’re getting off subject. The story?

- Once, two girls went to a mall. They both bought iced teas. One girl drank one, the other girl chugged five cups of ice tea down her throat.

- That sounds like you.

- Let me finish the story.

- Keep going, then.

- But there was a bad dude as the cashier. He put some lethal poison in the ice of their drinks.

- WHY?

- Cause, I dunno. He’s a psychopath with a sense of humor.

- Sounds like your cousin.

- Just because I used sticks to carve stuff in bark and I used to squish ants for fun when I was a kid doesn’t mean I’m a psycho!

- Your still a kid!

- I’m a "tween"! Whatever that is.

- I mean your mental age. Plus "tween" sounds like some candy bar.

- Ok, fine. We’re going off-topic again.

- Then finish up the story!

- Ok, ok. Where was I?

- Your cousin poisoning two victims.

- Oh, yeah! So the girl who’s a mega-awesome-chugger didn’t die because she drank too fast and the ice didn’t have time to melt. Meanwhile-

- The PROPER lady entered into rest because she drinks like A NORMAL PERSON and DOESN’T CHOKE every TWO MINUTES.

- Well, sorry! I was born with a natural large throat! So I was destined to drink awesomely!

- Why do you still sing like a cow then?

- Hey!

- Faith, stop veering off! What’s the moral?!

- Eat and drink whatever you want. If someone lectures you about your weight, eat them too.’

- Well, that was aggressive. But I mean, the actual moral?

- Chug.’

- That’s it?

- ‘Chug or else you lose your dignity.’

- How about, ‘Don’t hire psychopaths as cashiers?’

- Hum… It doesn’t have the same ring to it. Oh! I know! How about ‘Kill all cashiers!"

- Um…I don’t think that will work out. Cashiers are nice and they are important in our society. Yah know, Starbucks. Anyway, I think ‘Don’t buy iced tea.’is pretty good.

- Naw… Oh, I KNOW! The moral is ‘Fish out the ice, pour some salt on it, and lob it and the cashier!’

(For those who don't know, if you put salt on ice, it becomes much colder. It can give life-lasting scars if it stays on your skin for a few moments.)

- You were saying that you were not a psychopath?

- Fine. How about ‘Don’t bring your friends to the mall because you will lose your dignity with them.’Is that good?

- You’re impossible.

- I know that.

Author Notes: Thanks for reading! We never had this conversation, but I showed this to my best friend. She laughed. I hope it brought a smile to your face too! Oh, and the story with the two girls and the ice is made up, don't worry! Cashiers are nice.

Recommend Reviews (3) Write a ReviewReport

Share Tweet Pin Reddit
About The Author
About This Story
20 Feb, 2019
Read Time
2 mins
1 (View)
1 (View)
4.7 (3 reviews)

Please login or register to report this story.

More Stories

Please login or register to review this story.