Depression

I am sitting alone in my room

I just sit there with no feelings at all

Except this crushing weight of hopelessness

I feel as if there is no point for anything

If this is how life is, then what is the point?

How does everyone get through everyday?

Why does life have to seem so empty?

I can be surrounded by people and feel all alone.

When they ask how I am, I say I’m fine.

But I’m not.

I don’t know how to get this crushing weight of nothingness to go away.

I wish I could remember what it’s like to be ok.

But it’s been so long since I have felt that way.

I wish it would get better.

I am sitting all alone in my room.

I am gouging my eyes out with tears,

But no-one notices.

I put on a smile out in public.

But it’s not real.

I joke around with all my friends,

But my mind is on another planet.

I try to focus in school, but I’m failing.

I try to stay awake all day, but I’m always tired.

I have no energy for anything anymore.

My friends are talking to me, but I can’t understand what they are saying.

My teacher calls my name in class,

I have no idea how I got there.

It’s like I walk through life,

Without ever actually being there.

Does anyone else feel the crushing weight of emptiness?

I try to talk, but no-one hears.

How does no-one hear me?

I’m drowning in my own thoughts.

I’m screaming out for help, but no-one notices.

Or maybe they just don’t care.

I don’t know.

I’m all alone,

Even when I’m surrounded.

I wake up in my room,

I don’t remember coming home from school.

I eat breakfast,

But I don’t taste anything.

Why does life have to be this way?

Why does everything have to be so empty and tasteless?

Why can’t I be ok?

I walk outside,

It’s the middle of summer,

But I feel so cold.

I don’t want this to be my life.

I want to just curl into a ball,

And stay there until I die.

I don’t know how to fix this.

Why won’t someone help me?

Please help me.

I’m drowning in my own thoughts and tears.

I’m not good enough,

I’ll never amount to anything.

Tell the voices in my head to stop and to go away!!

Tell the Demons of self-hatred to leave me alone.

I don’t want to feel this pain anymore.

I’m tired.

All I ever want to do these days is sleep.

I have no energy for anything else.

I just want to feel ok again.

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