I kept imagining; hoping he would come. I saw a shadow steadily creep up behind me, strong hands grabbing my waist, a warm mouth on a cold winter's night roughly biting my neck. I could still feel the ghost of where his fantasized touch fell. Persistently reality tugged at the edge of my mind demanding I see things for what they are. But I didn't want to see reality, I wanted to live in my fantasy, where I could do what I wanted to. I see myself hiding in the shadows curled around him breathing in his warmth like a drug, biting his lips, holding him in the chilled air. But no. Reality struck me hard, then harder, knocking the wind from my lungs. He walked through the gate, and i was there to meet him, where we laughed and burned time like we'd never get enough. But no. I close my eyes and try to forget the feelings stirring inside me. But I couldn't the images were burned onto the back of my eyelids, as a relentless force pushed back. I tried and tried again, but some small piece of me kept reminding me. A sliver of hope raged inside of me, whispering throughout my echoing mind. Next one through the gate would be him, the next empty ringtone from my phone would be him. It never was. He never came.