i don't understand

why can't you tell how hard i'm trying?

everyone seems to overshadow me and to you,

everything

wrong.

i just don't understand.

you ask me why i don't care about my appearance or my mannerisms

and i'm telling you the truth when i tell you i don't care about myself enough to care about how i look.

if people care, they'll ask why i look awful.

what hurts the most is that you don't notice that i'm not okay.

you don't see the dark rings under my eyes, the long sleeves in july, the constant purchase of notebooks.

you don't question why i hardly eat and i skip most of our meals.

you only look at me like you don't know who i am.

i'll ask you again.

why can't you see how hard i'm trying?

all i want is your approval to continue existing, but if you disapprove

i can fix it.

but i just want to know.

WHY CAN'T YOU SEE HOW MUCH IT HURTS?

YOU'RE THE ONE PERSON WHO'S SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO NOTICE

but it seems you're the only one who doesn't.

i just want your attention.

i'm just so confused.

Author Notes: just something i needed to let out before i went crazy <3 (as i listen to songs about being a psychopath)