There was always this nagging feeling inside me that was tearing me apart slowly. It was very painful and I kept wishing that I could just end it, but I knew that was just impractical and selfish of me becuase to be honest,
I deserved this pain.
I deserved it because of what I did all those years ago. What has not and will never be forgotten. It was all my fault and it caused pain to so many people. My father always tells me that if I had not been there then she would not be dead. That she would still be alive and breathing here today.
And I know that.
The guilt tears through my body everyday, it interferes every dream, and it grinds the gears in my head 24/7. The questions never stop. The "What if's" and "If onlys" never cease. My mind and body always makes sure to let me know that I was the cause, that I was the one thing that caused her to die.
That caused her to burn alive in that dreadful fire.
That dreadful fire that was caused by me.
All because of me.
The agonizing pain never ceases and it's all because of that one night. The thought that I will never be forgiven makes the pain even worse. I can still see the single deadly match in my hand as it strikes against the box. I watch as the lit match drops to the ground, light up the gasoline. I watch the face of my own mother slowly drain of any life as the grueling flames incase her body.
I never mean to. I'm so sorry. It's all my fault. Please mother, hear me. Hear my pathetic pleads of apologies. I was so foolish to believe the disgusting lies of the town. The lies that you were a horrifiying monster that killed people. I wish I could go back and put the match back in the box. I wish I could save you from those horrifying flames. I wish I could do everything over again, and this time do the right thing.
"Lisa sweetheart, listen to me." I hear her voice call out. She walks in front of me, faded slightly. She embraces me in a warm hug that I immediately return. Tears fall down my olive skin and my teeth clench as I cry in her embrace.
"It's not your fault, you were so little, you could'nt possily understand what they meant.' She says soothingly to me, tears still falling from my blue eyes.
"B-but it is! I struck the math! I lith the fluid! I made you die! It was all my fault!" I yell out as she slowly stroked my hair in a calming motion.
"Lisa, listen and listen slowly. What you did, it's all in the past. Your father in just in pain, he doesn't actually blame you. Those unruly people lied to you and even through all of that the most important thing is that,"
"I still forgive you, my dear Lisa."
Author Notes: This is my first short story and I hope that you like this!