Lyn: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world!
Leo: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.
Cody: More or less, I guess...
Callie: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that!
Alexis: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept.
Ben: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!
*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you'*
Lyn: Thanks fam!
Cody: Oh no
Callie: *cries* I love you too
Leo: Sounds fake but okay
Alexis: *A flustered mess*
Ben: Can I get a refund?
Cody: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time when the whole design is visible in every facet.
Everyone Else At Cody’s Surprise Birthday Party:
Leo: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.
Leo: Callie... How do I begin to explain Callie?
Cody: Callie is flawless.
Lyn: I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.
Alexis: I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.
Ben: One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.
Leo: We need to distract these guys
Lyn: Leave it to me
Lyn: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Callie, Cody, and Alexis: *Immediately begin arguing*
Ben, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.
Leo: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Lyn: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents
Leo: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Cody: Actually I did the math, Lyn would have $225, not $0.15.
Lyn: Fam I’m right here...
Callie: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
Leo: While you’re there could you buy me an apply juice, please?
Callie: Sorry I only have a dollar
Cody: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Lyn would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Callie: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Cody: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Alexis: Yeah and she wants soda and apply juice
Cody: Apply juice to what
Ben: Directly to the forehead
Lyn: Great chat everyone
Leo: Croissants: dropped
Lyn: Road: works ahead
Callie: BBQ sauce: on my [haha, no]
Cody: Shavacado: fre
Alexis: Miss Keisha: [flippin] dead
Ben, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.
'Can I copy the homework?'
Lyn: I can help you with it!
Leo: Yeah, sure.
Callie: Bold of you to assume I did the homework.
Cody: lol nope.
Alexis: Wait, we had homework?!?!?!
Ben: *Read 5:55pm*
Ben: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3 am to look at the stars.
Alexis: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3 am to go look at the darn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.
Ben: *dies inside-*
Alexis: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.
Ben: You're like 15 years old
Alexis: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!
Cody: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]
Callie: What's that?
Cody: Remorse code.
Callie: I'm even angrier now.
Cody: I'm a reverse necromancer.
Callie: Isn't that just killing people?
Cody: Ah, technicality.
Cody: Leo and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-
Cody: Don't interrupt me.
Leo: I turned out perfectly fine!
Cody: Leo, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast
Leo: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!
~The Terrible Two~
Lyn: How do I deal with my enemies?
Leo: Kill them
Lyn: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution
Leo: Kill them only a little?
Lyn: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?
Leo: Stop romanticizing the past.
Lyn: Where are you going?
Leo: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there
Lyn: Violence isn't the answer.
Leo: You’re right.
Lyn: *sighs in relief*
Leo: Violence is the question.
Leo, bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Lyn, running after him: NO-
Lyn: Welcome, fellow idiots
Leo: Hello, Lyn
Lyn: No, no, not you, you're not an idiot
Leo: You underestimate me
Lyn: Change is inedible.
Leo: Don't you mean inevitable?
Lyn, spitting out coins: No, I did not.
Lyn: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.
Leo: You need to stop.
Lyn, pointing: May I sit there?
Leo: That's my lap
Lyn: That doesn't answer my question, Leo.
Lyn: Okay, truth or dare?
Lyn: How many hours have you slept this week?
Lyn: Go to bed.
Leo: I don’t like this game.
*Lyn and Leo are skipping stones on a lake*
Lyn: It’s such a beautiful evening.
Leo, whispering: Take that you [trucking] lake
Leo: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds.
Lyn: FORTY-FIVE SECONDS?!?
Leo: No! Four to five seconds!
Lyn: Too late!!!
Leo, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.
Lyn: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!
Leo, with the tone of someone who is used to Lyn: Outstanding.
Leo: This is what I’m talking about people.
Leo: Someone will die.
Lyn: Of fun!
Lyn: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut...
Leo: You would eat yourself?
Lyn: I wouldn’t even question it.
Lyn: I am not out of control! I'm a law-abiding citizen!
Leo: Really? Name one law
Lyn: Don't kill people?
Leo: That's on me. I set the bar too low.
Lyn: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside
Leo: Lyn, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn...
Lyn: *Sips coffee from bowl*
Lyn, standing with their back turned: I’ve been expecting you, Leo.
Leo: How did you do that without turning around?
Lyn: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.
Lyn: You're right.
Leo: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?
Lyn: Here's some advice
Leo: I didn't ask for any
Lyn: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me
Lyn: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.
Leo: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.
Leo: Do you take constructive criticism?
Lyn: I only take cash or credit.
Leo: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?
Lyn: You mean literally or figuratively?
Leo: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...
Lyn: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!
Leo: Yeah! Locally sourced, all-natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!
Lyn: God, give me patience.
Leo: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Lyn: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.
Lyn: Am I in trouble?
Leo: Take a guess.
Leo: Take another guess.
Leo: A theif.
Lyn: I before E, except after C.
Lyn: I was arrested for being too cool.
Leo: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.
Lyn: I went through an entire character arc during quarantine
Lyn: I became eviler if you’re curious
Leo: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still!
Lyn: I’m going to get worse on purpose
Lyn: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Leo: That's why I carry two swords.
Lyn: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Leo's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...
Leo: You wanna see how hardcore I am?
Leo: *punches wall*
Leo: Take me to the hospital.
Lyn: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.
Ben: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.
Alexis: With great power comes a great need to take a nap. Wake me up later...
Callie: 'Person of interest' is almost too flattering.
Callie: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'
Cody: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.
Paige: Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.
~The Chaotic Threesome~
Lyn: You have to apologize to Leo
Paige: 'Un[flip] you' or whatever.
Paige: If I die, my funeral is going to be the biggest party ever and you’re all invited
Lyn: Great, the only party I’ve ever been invited to and she might not even die.
Paige: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?
Leo: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-[butt lol] house.
Lyn: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.
Leo: Good thinking.
Paige, trying to ask Leo out: Would you like to stay for dinner?
Lyn: WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?
Paige: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.
Lyn: You were flirting with Leo.
Paige: So what? He's my boyfriend.
Lyn: You asked him if he was single.
Lyn: And then you cried when he said he wasn't.
Paige, negotiating with Leo: We have Lyn. Give us ten thousand dollars and she will be returned to you unharmed.
Lyn: Whoa, whoa, wait, you think I’m only worth ten thousand dollars?
Lyn: MAKE IT ONE MILLION–
Paige: LYN STOP
Lyn, texting Leo: Leo! Help I’m being kidnapped
Leo: Where are you?
Lyn: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help.
Leo: I’ll call Paige.
Paige, answering their cell: Y’ello?
Leo: Where’s Lyn? She texted me that she was being kidnapped.
Paige: Lyn? Whaddya mean, she's right next to me-
Paige: I’ll call you back. hangs up
Paige: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!
Lyn: WHO ARE YOU?!
Store Worker: Would Ms. Paige please come to the front desk?
Paige, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
Store Worker: points to Leo and Lyn
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
Leo and Lyn, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Paige: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-
Paige: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Leo?
Leo: … No.
Lyn: I do!
Paige: I know, Lyn.
Lyn: I’m sad!
Paige: I know, Lyn.
Paige: Leo, keep an eye on Lyn today. She's going to say something to the wrong person and get punched.
Leo: Sure, I’d love to see Lyn get punched.
Paige: Try again.
Leo, sighing: I will stop Lyn from getting punched.
Paige: This is such a bad idea.
Leo: Then why are you coming along?
Paige: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.
Paige: Can you please be serious for five minutes?
Leo: My record is four, but I think I can do it.
Paige: Leo and I are having a baby.
Lyn: That's grea-
Paige, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.
Lyn: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Leo: You’re a hazard to society
Paige: And a coward. DO TWENTY.
Lyn: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.
Paige: Wasn't Leo with you?
Leo: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.
Lyn: Hey, Paige? Can I get some dating advice?
Paige: Just because I’m with Leo doesn’t mean I know how I did it.
Lyn: What do you think Leo will do for a distraction?
Paige: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
A building explodes and several car alarms go off
Paige: ... or he could do that.
Paige, driving Lyn and Leo: So how was your day?
Lyn: We almost got surprise adopted!
Leo: We almost got kidnapped.
Paige: Oh, okay.
Paige: slams on the breaks WAIT, WHAT?!
Leo: Paige and I don’t use pet names.
Lyn: I see. Hey, what do bees make?
Paige: Yes, dear?
Lyn: Don't ever lie to my face again.
Paige: Are you sure this is the right direction?
Lyn: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!
Leo: In that case, we're definitely lost.
Paige: Fitness tip: never stop pushing yourself. Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Why not 9? Why not 10? Strive for greatness.
Lyn: Next time you’re working out do 15 push-ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Burn your ex’s house down. You can do it. I believe in you.
Leo: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-
Lyn: Why are you on the floor?
Leo: I'm depressed.
Leo: Also I was stabbed, can you get Paige, please-
Paige, in a high voice, holding barbie: Hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!
Lyn, in a deep voice, holding ken: Nonsense, barbie. You’re staying home and having my kids.
Leo: What the heck are you guys doing?
Paige: Playing systemic oppression.
Paige: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is because you’re not going to like it.
Lyn: Just rip the bandage off.
Paige: It’s Leo.
Lyn: Put the bandage back on.
Paige: We need a distraction.
Leo: Is anyone here good at jumping up and down and making weird noises?
Lyn, whispering: My time has come
Paige: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
Lyn: The car takes a screenshot.
Leo: For the last time, get out.
Paige, at a restaurant: You guys should get the orange soda, it's amazing.
Waiter: Can I get you guys anything to drink?
Paige: Orange soda, please!
Lyn: I'll have the strawberry soda.
Leo: Me too, strawberry soda.
Lyn: Paige and I were crossing the street, and this dude drove by and honked at us
Leo: Sighing What did Paige do?
Lyn: They chased him to the next red light, then reached into his window and...
Paige: Who wants a steering wheel?
Paige: Leo, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?
Leo: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later
Paige: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Lyn.
Paige: Lyn, can I talk to you for a second?
Lyn: Yeah, what’s up? Lemme guess. You and Leo are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss?
Paige: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.
Author Notes: I will continue to update this forever XD