Hey Mom, I’d like to talk to you about something I’ve been thinking a lot about, and it is my SEXUALITY something I’ve been trying to figure out for a while now and I think I’ve just figured it out. I believe deep down in my soul that I’m PANSEXUAL and a DEMI-BOY/ TRANS. I know this is a lot to take in cause with Nevaeh you just had to deal with her being a LESBIAN and now you have to deal with me being basically everything in the book, but I’ll try to simplify it down to what I actually mean.
I believe I’m PANSEXUAL cause I do like everyone girls, guys, and all the genders in between and I don’t like anyone specifically based on their gender I like people for so many other things other than gender alone. This is why I strongly believe I’m PANSEXUAL there’s so much more evidence showing why I believe I’m PAN, but with this letter, I want to give you the basics of who I believe and who I want to be. Now I wish to scratch the surface of me believing very strongly that I’m a DEMI-BOY / TRANS so first off what I mean by this is that I believe I want to transition, and with this, I’ll use the pronouns HE/ THEY which is where the DEMI-BOY part comes in, and yes I’ve done the research on how much surgery cost if I do transition and then the FTM (Female to Male) testosterone on top of it all the cost is going to be expensive. Cause for top surgery it cost between $3,000 to $10,000 just for top surgery, and for bottom surgery for FTM bottom surgery cost an estimate of $25,600, and then if we put T (Testosterone) into the equation which if my memory servers me right then you have to pay for it monthly and T for FTM is about $80 monthly for FTM then that raises the price of everything, and if you just stop it can have terrible withdraws. I also have to take it every 2 to 4 weeks it is also TRT (Testosterone Replacement Therapy) is a lifelong thing so I have to do it for the rest of my life and I feel I’m ready for a change like this. So, think of a caterpillar and at first, then it changes into a butterfly that’s the best explanation I could think of for explaining it.
I’ve really wanted to talk to you about this, but whenever we’d had those emotional conversations face to face, I couldn’t bring myself to talk to you about it. Cause you say we can always come to talk to you but whenever we do have those emotional conversations you always seem angry or annoyed about something which makes me feel like you’re going to be mad if I say something you don’t like, or if I do something wrong, and even when you are calm and are being kind I can never find the confidence to tell. I just feel like you’re going to judge me I know you’re not but the slight chance that it might happen scares me I also don’t want what happened to Nevaeh to happen to me I want to have a plan of what to say, and I don’t want you to be mad when this comes out cause that just makes thing ten times scarier. So, I tell you now to get this off my chest and come out to you on a happy and joyful day.
Love,
Leyla Real
P.S. You’re not the last one to know about this to be honest your one of the first people to know about this, Nevaeh didn’t even know this much. I’d also like you to use the pronouns HE/ THEY and I’d like to take things slow with the pronoun change I’d like you to use a different name when you refer to me. If you want we can talk about a different name you can use to refer to me if not then I’ll give you a few options.
Author Notes: Just wanted feedback on if it's good. Also, sorry if the genre is wrong.
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United States • 25 years old