Please register or login to continue

Register Login

My Fan-Fic (Part 2) Reviews

2 reviews have given an average rating of 4.5 out of 5 Stars
dazed_and_alone
The Crew gave a rating of 4

y'know, it's not bad :) there are a few run on sentences and you repeated yourself a little bit, but nobody is perfect!
- Ophelia

0
King
King Saying Ophelia to people means "help."
You do know that right?
The Crew
The Crew my name is Ophelia, and this account is shared so I just put my name :P sorry to be confusing!
Reviewer -
King
King Oh, I thought it was a reference to Hamlet.
The Crew
The Crew no sorry, but hamlet is awesome
Reviewer -
-Lynnyan-
Lyn gave a rating of 5

This is great! You did rly good! I think you could be a bit more descriptive, though. When you wrote "they stopped hugging," I felt you could put a bit more into that. Maybe something along the lines of, "they immediately pulled away, giving nervous chuckles." Other than that, you did really, really well! Keep writing, you're going somewhere!

0

Please login or register to review this story.