Before I actually start writing I think it would be helpful to see the characters listed out, because there are a couple of them and it can get confusing. Haha I changed the names so I might get confused too :)
Bob - the guy that I am letting go of and moving on from
Anista - the girl he hurt too; who introduced me to him and my best friend in this situation
Emily - my ex best friend because of this situation; I’ve known her since birth because our families knew each other; someone who has changed a lot this year.
Malka - his new girl that I met over the phone; she is really nice and I consider her my friend, but the whole situation has just put us at odds.
(I was going to think up a more realistic name for you but I don’t want to give you even that kind of credit anymore)
I think what I’m going to call it is you are a very indecisive person and it destroys the people around you. And sadly I don’t mean destroy in the way that people move on after a couple of weeks, but the kind where the people you hurt are constantly wondering if they are good enough and wondering what they did wrong. I’ve had so many nights that I’ve cried over you and you just seem so so happy with Malka. Actually don’t get me wrong I’m happy for her. You make her happy and I’m thankful you’ve actually been consistent with one person for once in your life because apparently I’m not the only one you’ve done this to. I know what you are going to say “she’s the only one that matters and I don’t really care what ya’ll think,” (he’s direct words). Honestly I don’t think you deserve her, but there again my opinion doesn’t matter in that. People’s opinions got caught up in our friendship/relationship and so I’m not going to input my opinion into your relationship with her. I hope it works out in the way that God wants it, because He is looking out for this situation and all I have to do is trust it.
When you came to (imput school here) it made me really happy. My best friend, we are going to call her Anisa, (look up the meaning it means something) told me that she had a friend from her old school coming and I was excited to meet you. On opening day when I walked up and saw you, her and Emily, you know what I thought? I thought, I hope he stays a good friend of mine. Y'all were laughing about something and your smile lit up your face and it made me happy. We had so many laughs, but the truth of the matter at (insert school) is untrue things get spread about people so so fast and it happens about me all the time. It happened last year, and the year before….it is what happens at a small school. It hurt so so much that you decided to believe the rumors and not to trust what I told you. I NEVER said that you and I were going to social (high school Christmas dance) together. A couple people saw us hanging out and so they asked me if I wanted to go to social with you and my words were “that would be fun…sure I’d go with him.” But no you just believed that I was trying to decide it for you and just got frustrated and mad for no reason. I did like you, because you made me laugh and I thought you were cute, but I realize now in all of this I lost sight of the things that actually matter in liking someone; their compassion, their consistency, the bond with the people around them. You told me that you didn’t like me and I realized that I NEVER thought you did. I have low self esteem anyway, so the fact that I would assume that someone likes me is very low and that never happened. I wished that you liked me at the beginning of the year, but I didn’t think you did. When you and Emily started emailing, it made me happy that you found a person that you trusted and could open up to someone. You seemed like at very closed off person and Anista confirmed that saying you had a lot going on and didn’t like opening up to people. Don’t worry she didn’t tell me anything about what they were about. It was a secret even to her best friend that she’s known since day one. She was your “therapist” or at least that’s what she liked to call herself. To be quite honest I was jealous of that. She would walk in so happy that she was important to you. I was happy for you and her, don’t get me wrong, but I wanted so bad to be important to you too. It ended up being good…at least for a while. I focused on myself and I got a little bit of my self esteem back which made me really happy. Me and Emily kinda took a break from each other, and that made me sad, but she had you to go tell all her problems to now, she doesn’t need me (even now she won’t stand up for what I know deep down she knows is right because she’s the girl of no confrontation, except when it came to tell you she liked you). She was so happy that she told you, she was so surprised at herself but she told me it felt good to be able to confront something for once. You know that’s the first time I can recall her lying to me, and I would have never thought it would have been because of a boy. Emily has always been the person that is the sweetest girl in the world, but has never been about guys. She has always laughed with me about the guys that I hangout with…even just as friends…saying that I had it so easy with guys and that I would have no trouble finding a boyfriend. If only she knew. She was always insecure about me leaving her as soon as I got a boyfriend. I always told her that I never would, and that she was my number 1 no matter what… I guess that changed in her perspective, but at the same time, I’m the one in the wrong in her eyes. She still has Anista though, so she is okay. She is still apart of you life and important to you. Oh well…
I don’t know what happened with you and Emily. Your words back to me after social were “Me and Emily aren’t anything. She likes me and she knows I don’t like her.” Be warned this is the big protective sister coming out at me…you hurt her and that wasn’t right! You thought she was nice and pretty because she is. She’s GORGEOUS. And you just used her and made her believe that you cared when no you just came right back to me. “Emily can’t give me what I want in a relationship” and that’s okay but that doesn’t give you the right to walk all over her. And the fact that she still won’t say anything to you about it, because she still cares enough to be “on mutual sides and not be on anyone's bad side.” You are so so incredibly stupid for treating her like that. Me and her are getting closer again, but just because I took a break from her doesn’t mean I would do anything to protect her or Anisa at a drop of a hat. Emily still cares so much about you that she has put up a front in front of you and me that she is okay and that’s not cool that she feels like she has to be on good terms with you. You are stupid for that and I do not think that this will get better. She still want to be important to you and it has changed her. She is not the girl I knew for my entire life, the girl who did what was right and took breaks from people that would change her. That okay she is happy with who she is…I just hope that she grows and becomes better at some point because of this.
Now onto Anisa…you know she liked you right. And like so many girls you gave her attention when it was convenient for you, she told me about being so excited for you to come to (insert school name here), because she wanted you to be at a school that was a safe place for you and where you could make new friends. She was so happy to introduce you to her friends, because she finally felt important to you. She wanted you to like her so bad and she showed you how much she cared and you just didn’t care. That was a jerk move. I did have a conversation with her when I started liking you and from what I remember of it she was okay that I liked you and had accepted the fact that you didn’t like her which I think is so sad that she had to accept that. Actually not really anymore she deserves the WORLD for what she has gone through, so I’m glad she moved on.
I am thankful that I got over you. It took a lot of hard work, but I am thankful for where it got me to today. You came back after stuff didn’t work out with you and Emily and I was so excited. Over Christmas break was so much fun, us texting back and forth. Sadly I did not realize that you were giving me attention because you needed attention over break and you knew I would give it to you. I would get so excited just when you explained your day to me and that I got to hear all the little things that made you happy. But no else knew about us actually talking again. You used the logic that “let’s keep it quiet so the drama at school doesn’t start right away.” I believed that that was genuine and I shouldn’t have. It took a lot to get over you but I can CONFIDENTLY say that I have. I can remember the day that I found out I was just a side piece. I spent the night crying over you and wondering what I did wrong. Why I wasn’t good enough for you when I only wanted to make you happy. It's okay though I am glad you are being consistent. You BETTER make her feel loved and valuable. That is all I have to say with you and your girlfriend.
I have found someone that makes me grow. Someone who smiles at me for me and not for who I’m acting to be. You can tell through a text if I’m not feeling like myself. Who is loyal and funny and honestly treats me 10x better than you did. He drops what he is doing to make sure I am okay and he is so protective. I have moved on for the better, so this is my release from all of that pain and hurt that you caused me. I want to say that I forgive you and that I am moving on. Maybe one day I can look back on this time and only see good things, and maybe we will be friends down the road. If not I hope you are successful and that the Lord treats you well. Until we meet again. Goodbye.
Author Notes: I hope ya'll enjoy it. Please let me know if you want more from this story or if there is anything else I should write.
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