When I was in sixth grade, I made mistakes. Big ones. My classmates didn't like me very much in the first place, and me doing things just made them hate me even more.
In fifth grade, I had many friends and I loved them very much. But almost all of them left for new schools. In the beginning of sixth grade, my group of seven friends dropped to two.
One of my so-called friends joined another group. My other friend drifted off as well. I was lonely and clingy at the time.
So I was unstable. And when you are insecure, you make mistakes. I won't say what mistakes I made, but it impacted my whole class.
I was ignored by everyone. Even teachers seem to inch away from me.
You might think "You're such a drama queen! Your classmates hate you! So what?" Well, I am a drama queen. But...knowing that other people that you spend your days with hate you and everybody avoids you, it just hurts. Hurts on the inside. Hurts on the outside. Hurts everywhere.
I had to put smiles on like armor, turn my sadness into snobbiness, my hurt feelings buried under the layers of silence. And so everybody kept ignoring me. And so it was. I was the hated one, the weird one, the one that did not belong.
7th grade. It started pretty well as I joined another group of girls. There were eight people in all, including myself. We had fun moments, but I knew deep down inside they probably hated me.
After a few months, my gut feeling faded away. Maybe my grade forgave me. Maybe these friends were actually my friends.
Besides, we were going to Catalina Island, a small isle by L.A. Things just couldn't be better, right?
The school provided the trip, so my whole class aboarded the ship and we sailed to Catalina Island.
Even to this day, I will never forget the sunset on the ocean, the beautiful views and the late-night gossips I had with my cabinmates.
I bet Catalina Island was great for everybody. For me? There was a small problem...
If there is a class of boys and girls, therefore there is gossip. My friends got all the juicy things, but I was excluded from all the small talks. I was then ignored by almost eveybody. When my whole class settled down for games like Mafia or Paranioa, I was pushed out most of the time.
But my friends? They were having the times of their lives! Sitting on the sand, talking, playing volleyball, sneaking into each other's tents at night...but all these activites, I was not invited. I had no idea where they went or what they were up to.
So I gave up trying to catch up. If I even tried, they would say a quick hi then skip away. Plus, I would just annoy them. So what's the point?
We came back to school. My friends came back with more friends than ever. I came back alone.
I found another girl. She's probably the best person I know. She likes writing and she's tall like me, and we can relate in so many ways. This girl is the only one that kept me going. Her friends invited me with welcome.
And this time, I dared to hope that I really found my real friends.
And life goes on, if you like it or not. You lose people that you love, but you gain others. Things you like comes and goes.
One night, I went to bed early. I needed to think. I finally figured why my class keeps hating me.
My class, I known them for a long time. And when I leave the school, I will miss them, no matter how much they hate me.
And I finally figured why they hate me and will keep hating me.
They judge people by their past. It doesn't matter how good you are today. If you were bad (past tense), you're doomed for. They WILL hate you till the end of your existence. And the people in my class that did not do something really bad yet are treated like royals.
So you, don't judge people by what they did. Judge them what they are now. Give them a chance to be good. Or else they might end up like me, a hated person.
And to people that are hated, show others that you do have something good in you, because you do. Don't go down that path. You still have time. You can still make it.
Author Notes: My life has gotten a lot better now. But at some point, I felt like this. Please, people, try to follow what I'm saying. Thank you for reading! The second part is coming soon...
Edit 2020: I wrote this a really long time ago, and thank the skies my writing got better. As melodramatic as this is, I'm not a hated person anymore, i finally found my true friends. so i guess i did fix things. hopefully you did too :)