I have been locked away for ten years. I've lost all hope of seeing the outside world. The world beyond these walls. I haven't been mistreated by the workers of the asylum but it isn't a vacation home either. I have a decent bed with a semi-warm blanket and one small yet poofy pillow. I have a small barred window that allows me to gaze upon the bright days of the sun and days when it disappears. I often play cards or board games to stay occupied. I even read or write but of course, I have to do it out in the "living room" with the others. I even play chess with some of the workers from time to time. The first couple of years were rough. Getting used to being stuck in a foreign building against my will. But it was for my good. Honestly, I feel that I've gone insane. Only in times of sadness, do I get to find happiness when around others so I get to feel something other than the numbing silence of my mind. Most of the outsiders think we are all insane and there is no hope of regaining sanity. But they are wrong. That is what most of us think about and strive for. Unfortunately, I do not believe in that dream anymore for ten years is a long time to think about it. And I know I have nothing out there waiting for me. Joyce surely left and shacked up with some other guy, probably took the kids. My friends visit but they know as well as I do that I am not leaving even though they want to help. My father hates me and loves me at the same time while my mother just wishes for my release. My siblings haven't visited in a few years which makes me believe life took over, which hurts to an extent but I understand. What was I saying? Ah yes, sanity. Sanity is real but not for me. I lost mine long ago and just do things day by day. For those who think sanity is something not worth holding on to should hit their head against a wall. Because if you truly have any left you'd do your best to stay away from here. Away from us. Away from me.for I have none and wouldn't feel anything for you. "Ah, welcome stranger, are you also searching for sanity?"