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Skylar Rose
Skylar Rose
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Skylar Rose

Joshua_12Joshua_12

When I was elevn years old I had no friends. I was the freak of the school. Everbody bullied me. I had already been to the hospital six times each time for attempting suicide. I had my stomach pumped twice in my life already once from overdosing on my meds and once for drinking a whole bottle of bleach. I had already had six stitches on my stomach from cutting so deeply.

There was this guy at my school who was three years older then me, and I really liked him. He didn't even know I exsisted. So when he approached me and asked me out, I said yes. I finally was no longer alone. Everything was bearable. He got a lot of people to back off of me. I talked to him about my feelings of suicide, and how I hated myself and my body. And how I struggled with anorexia which is an eating disorder.

He would hold me and call me beautiful, something no-one had ever told me before. I was getting better, when he asked me to send him nude photos. I told him, I didn't want to, and he went back to pretending I didn't exsist. the bullying was getting worse again, especially since he told everyone the things I had told him. I tried to hang myslef and went back to the hospital for another three months and when I got back I approached him and asked him why he was doing this. He looked me in the eyes and said it was becuase I obviously didn't love him. I told him that was ridiculous and of course I did. He said prove it. I asked how, and he told me to send the photos.

I struggled for days. I didn't want to do it. I didn't want him to see how ugly and worthless I am. But everything was getting worse, and I wanted him back, so I finally did it.

When I went to school the next day, he came up to me, kissed and and apologized. He gave me lots of gifts and beat the one kid up who kept telling me to kill myself. We got close again. And everything was great again, at least for a couple weeks, it was. Then he told me he wanted to have sex, and I told him I didn't want to, and I told him it was becuase I had been raped before six times. But all he said was that if I didn't have sex with him, he would post the pictures of me everywhere and everyone would see how ugly I am. So I caved. We had sex for three weeks in a row. A couple weeks later, I was feeling like death every day, throwning up every morning, and so much more.

I told him, and he took me to his dad, who took me to the doctors, where it was confirmed that I was pregnant. I had a mental break down. I was only twelve years old, and was pregnant.

Him and his dad took me to all my appoinments. I was petrified to tell my mom. It was going to be a girl, I was going to name her Skylar Rose. But on Febuary 16th, when I was six months in, me and my boyfriend got into an argument. He was saying how he didn't want to be a dad. And I got pissed and said it's not like I wanted to be a mom at twelve years old, and pointed out it was as much his fault as mine. And how I never wanted to have sex in the first time, and how my life was being completly ruined because of him and he punched me five times in the stomach. I collapsed from the pain and when I woke up I was in the hospital, where they told me I had had a miscarraige.

It was the worst feeling in the world. While I hadn't planned on getting pregnant, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it, I still loved her. She was my baby, whom I was supposed to protect, and being the failure I am, I couldn't even do that.

I felt and still feel horrible about it. I miss Skylar Rose everyday. She didn't even have the chance to see the world and it was all my fault. If I hadn't argued with my boyfriend none of this would have happened, and she would have been about five years old now.

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About The Author
Joshua_12
Joshua_12
About This Story
Audience
15+
Posted
8 Jun, 2021
Words
759
Read Time
3 mins
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455

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