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That Safe Haven

That Safe Haven

3 Reviews

When I lay with her I become numb to the pain. When I felt the warmth of her body against mine, every cold corner of my mind seemed to feel at ease. Every night we watched the stars peacefully float across the sky. Through the night I was her guardian, the one who was always there to protect her and protect her I always will.

She was always the shortest girl with a meaniest temper but the sweetest attitude. Just a glimpse of her eyes and she'd be forgiven, being mad was never an option. I never understood why she was so lonely growing up, no friends and a broken family. No home to protect her, nobody to understand her.

It was beautiful. As we grew older we would spend weekends outside and around a campfire. No desire to go home with no reason to leave. Little did she know that this little boy would be with her for the rest of her life. Weekends became weeks, we'd travel and with every travel, we grew little by little. Eventually, this little boy becomes a man and a ruined girl became the most amazing women he could ever ask for.

We spent years on the road, meeting amazing people and achieving great things. With our pasts behind us, we had no reason to ever go back because we had everything we ever needed. We decided to settle down in a small cabin next to a lake. Excluded from the outside world we lived for years together. Every year we grew more crops than we could eat, the pigs grew fat and the dogs lived free. In the stable lived the most beautiful bay colored stallions. Well nourished and plenty of time in the woods they grew strong and healthy. Our lives depended on everything we had, without that small little cabin, everything would have been so different.

The animals became old and the crops began to fail. The horses grew tired, and our home became cold. We knew that everything must end, even if it's slow and painful. I became sick through the winter months, the home became just a cold house and the windows began to whistle. I knew my time was ending, much sooner than I could let her know.

We lay together for what I knew could be the last time. As we watched the stars that night I felt her warmth for one last time, my fears and worried left and my mind was at ease. I held her close and made my peace "when I'm no longer here, every night look for me in the stars. I ask you to remember all those years we spent watching the stars, but this time it'll be different. When you watch, look for the brightest star and listen to every whisper you hear. For I will be your guardian and I promise I will never let any harm come to you.' We watched for what seemed like forever before she kissed me on the head and delicately whispered "Thank you".

Author Notes: Something different to what i'd normally, hope you guys enjoy

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11 Feb, 2017
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That Safe Haven Reviews

3 reviews have given an average rating of 4 out of 5 Stars
Kat gave a rating of 5

I think it was great! There were a few punctuation places missed, but I don't think it degraded much. The story was beautiful, and reminded me of the move "Up."
It was my favorite growing up. Anywho, thanks! Hope to hear more from you!

15 Feb, 2017 1
JamesD147 - 17 Feb, 2017
Thank you, I try my best to avoid error but sometimes some just slip by. Thanks again
Kat - 21 Feb, 2017
No problem.
aspen-faye gave a rating of 5

This love story is literally better than twilight! All though I would have liked to know more about her back story and maybe more details. But this is so cute!!!

13 Feb, 2017 -2
JamesD147 - 14 Feb, 2017
Thank you so much, as previously said, I like to keep it basic, however I am looking into expanding this one day so I'll be sure to leave less to the imagination. Thanks again, it means a lot
Apemann gave a rating of 2

Oh dear, this could have been SO much better.

What you have presented is a 500-word outline of a much longer story. You have tried to cram a long story into a short one and, unfortunately, it just hasn't worked. There is no plot to speak of, no characterisation and no action of any description. It reads like an idea for a story that you've rushed to jot down before you forgot it. It certainly does not read like something you have put a great deal of thought or effort into...

You say that this is something of a departure from what you'd normally write. I would be most interested in reading your 'normal' output :-)

13 Feb, 2017 1
JamesD147 - 13 Feb, 2017
Okay thanks, I don't normally plan (I know I should), but often I feel like I just want to write. Something gives me the idea and I just go with what comes to mind, however I may try expand this, plan ahead, give more character an actual 'character'. However, I like the feel of 'basic' stories and that the emptiness leaves more to the mind to create your own interpretation of everything

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