I was five years old when I ask this question to myself,“What is love and what is it for?” I had this thought because I always heard my mother and father fighting. They always fought when they thought I wasn’t around to hear them, but I heard every word. I always heard them call each other names, and swear at the top of their lungs. Even now at eighteen I still can’t stop asking that question, “What is love and what is it for? ” I never felt it and I don’t know if I ever will. I always stray away from people. I do have one really good friends. We’ve been friends since we were little. He is like a brother to me.
“Maya, hey, I was in class and I didn’t see you. Is everything okay? You look upset.” Matthew said almost out of breath from running half of the campus. You can tell that he’s sporty. He has tan skin, his black hair pulled back in a ponytail, his muscles showing through his teal t-shirt. He is beautiful unlike me. I have pale skin, long black hair that is half dyed purple, my eyes are pale green , I’m short, and little like ‘5”4 little. I’m hideous and I’m a nerd. I was always getting picked on by the girls in our school.
“ I’m fine. I always look upset. There is nothing to…” At the same time I was hit in the back of the head with a water balloon. I fell to the floor. Everyone knew I can’t stand on my own two feet. So I’m an easy target for jocks and cheerleaders to ‘play’ jokes on. I never stand up to them because I’m not that kind of girl.
“HEY, WHAT WAS THAT FOR!” Matthew yell at the boys that threw the water balloon. “You okay Maya?” He was lifting me off the ground. When I look up his face was red. “You should get home. I’ll talk to you later, k,” he spoke softly.
When I turned around I heard him yelling. I hate it when anyone is yelling. I ran home so I didn’t have to hear it. I ran to my room so my parents didn’t see me cry. I hate crying it reminds me that I’m alone and I’m nothing. There was a knock on my door.
“ Come in,” I called while I wiped my eyes. I don’t let anyone see me cry; not even Matthew.
“Hey baby girl, are you okay? You look like you fell on your face. Are those jock boys messing with you again because if they are should you go tell the principal?” My mother ask because she is a nosy rosy and can’t leave me alone.
“ Can you please leave me? I don’t want to talk about it. It’s not like you care anyway.” I was never really caring about my parents because they were never caring about me. I just hate that my parents fight and don’t acknowledge my presence. I’m their only child and they treat as if I’m nothing. I hate life and I hate the world. I finally said, “ I’m fine mother and I fell on the way home. I’m a clusts remember. So can you please let get my homework done and I’m sorry for what I said before.”
“I forgive you. I have to go run some earners and father won’t be home for a day or two. He is on one of his business trips. There leftovers and pizza in the fridge, okay.” My mother was always ‘running earners’ when father left for his ‘business trips’ those four word really mean that mother is going out for a drink and father is doing the same thing but a few towns over and won’t come back for about two or three days.
I was alone at last. I cried my eyes out. I heard the door open. I wiped my eyes and looked to go see who it was.
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United States • 21 years old