We didn't have a hideout
Just your house
We never had "adventures"
We weren't those fairytale kinds of friends, that shaped each other's worlds
But you still meant the world to me
Back then we still smiled
We set our expectations
Not low, but not too high
I thought I understood the ins and outs of you and i
It was never quite that simple..
..still don't know why
I'm floundering alone here
Inside I'm still the same
Just more confused
I thought the world was fairer
I thought the years would slow for just a moment
One small pocket
Your words gave mine permission
Your actions always guided mine
Along some surer path
The hideout that we didn't have
Might have changed our course
Adventures we skipped out on might have shown us how to force
But broken scraps of "what ifs"
Regret can't overwhelm me
I'm too numb
The things I didn't say just might have saved you
But holding on to "might" and "maybe"
To fill the hole your suicide has dug inside my soul
Author Notes: Ps I know it doesn't rhyme