United Kingdom • 64 y/o • MaleReviews Given
Nice writing. The story has a good flow to it after a slightly unsteady start. Hopefully we'll get to read more about these young characters :-)
Another interesting story. It has it's faults, but on the whole a good effort.
This piece is good, but slightly spoiled by its 'wordiness'. Some of your sentences are unnecessarily wordy and over-descriptive:
"We stay up late into the night talking, confiding our secrets in each other, showing our burning desires without flinching while looking into the faces of each other's truths and faults"
This feels as though your are trying to impress readers with your vocabulary, but you don't need to. You are good enough story-teller without having to load every sentence with as many words as you can think of. Sometimes the less you write the better it reads...
A nice poem spoiled by your poor punctuation. Please take more care: you have some talent as a writer which is being undermined by the sloppiness of your presentation.
Nice work. I hope you'll submit more of your work.
Another fabulous and moving poem from you. I am delighted to recommend this to everyone who visits the site. Wonderful!
Beautiful, simple and heartfelt. Your mother is lucky to have such a loving daughter :-)
Confused, confusing, incoherent, nonsensical. An utterly mind-boggling experience trying to READ this let alone make sense of it!