Andy (Formerly Apemann)

I like the idea and concept behind this work. Clearly this is something you put a great deal of thought into. Lovely!

Well written! You have conveyed your fears clearly and with passion. A very mature submission. Very well done.

Fabulous! (later edit 11/05/16)) Having re-read this I 'saw' more than the first time. Although not my 'cup of tea' I appreciate your skill in writing in this genre. You have a fabulous imagination, which comes across vividly in your story.

This is actually rather intriguing. I hope it is the beginning of a series of pieces or the start of a longer story... The reason I say that is that you have successfully negotiated the trickiest of hurdles when writing a story: grabbing the readers' attention and HOLDING IT. Well done!

I look forward to reading more from you in the future.

Nice writing. The story has a good flow to it after a slightly unsteady start. Hopefully we'll get to read more about these young characters :-)

Great story, hon! There are one or two small spelling and grammar errors, but overall - fantastic! xx

A fun read :-) Well done!

I really like this short but poignant piece. You express so much feeling in so few words, which is rather skilful. Well done you! :-)