Andy (Formerly Apemann)

As I am a devotee of the last line's life philosophy I should live to a ripe old age!

Good fun!

This was an interesting story - until the unnecessary last line. For me, it completely killed the tension and drama of what had gone previously, which is a real shame. On the whole, though, an engaging submission.

This is an interesting idea for a story. There are faults with it (punctuation, spelling, etc.) that with some careful editing can be corrected to make this into the fabulous story it deserves to be.

There is an underlying bitterness in your words that suggests that your 'best friend' is perhaps not the sort of friend you want..?

Although not strictly a story (a work of fiction) this was a well-presented piece. I hope you'll send us more of your work very soon.

This is an interesting poem, but please take care with your wording. This sentence - "Cause she comes from such afar" - is grammatically incorrect and the word 'such' is unnecessary. Overall a good job :-)

Take care with your spelling and punctuation. It spoils your work.

Whilst this is an interesting story, there are faults with it. had you used your computer's spell-check and thesaurus facility many of the small errors would have been highlighted for you to correct.

Another interesting submission - but take care. It is not good practice to use numerals in prose: numbers should be written in full. Similarly, abbreviations are also not acceptable. Thus, '32' should be written 'thirty-two'. Your computer's spell-check and thesaurus facility will help you to avoid these minor issues in future works.