Bangladesh • 23 y/o • MaleReviews Received
Well-written minimalism, and the title tells us all, what to expect!
She tried to break the silence. But it did not.
If she's spoken she's broken the silence. Try "she tried to get through to me, but she couldn't " or "she tried to elicit a response from me, but couldn't."
The rest of it is excellent, atmpspheric, plausible with a touch of mystery.
Fresh flowers that smell etherial, brought in from the garden" reads better than "fresh flowers brought in from the garden that smell etherial." Otherwise your descriptions are excellent. A simple story but beautifully told.
Passed me reads better than crossed me. Otherwise its a well written story with a touch of mystery. Why did she stay? You set the scene quickly and effectively. Well done there.