United Kingdom • 21 y/o • FemaleReviews Received
I really relate to this. I love it. One thing that might be better is if instead of "I then say I'm sorry" it says "you listen as I say I'm sorry" because I feel like most of this poem is directed to "you". Most lines start with "you" and so on and so forth. So continuing with that seems more natural.
Still, I love the emotions behind this.
Really appreciate the way you express, in such a simple way, the things we teenagers usually go through
I like this.
I wish I had a friend like that
I really don't know how to critique poetry...
Please take this as constructive criticism, as this is good for such a young writer.
Why does he ask "did someone live here twenty years ago?" He would more likely say "who lived here before us?" He must know they didn't build the house themselves, and if not then obviously someone lived there before them. The question is who were they? Mum could say in reply exactly when the last occupants left.
