United Kingdom • 60 y/oReviews Given
You evoke the characters and the setting with great skill. The clash of values rings true.
You evoke the human characters very well. You also describe the birds and the setting vividly. There are people like Dobson, and people like Arthur. A clash ending in violence is quite possible.
If this is inspired by a berevement in real life then I feel for you. My mother passed away a few years ago and it was terrible for me. You learn to cope but part of you will miss het for a long time.
That's a good twist Apurbo. Keep writing.
Could you give us more information on your narrator's background? This is one way
The style of the building reminded me of my chilhood home, though our house was smaller and in town. It stirred memories of my melancholy childhood.
If you want him to have a happier childhood he could think how different the hall is from where he grew up. Either way we would learn a little more about him and it would help us to care about him.
I like the descriptions of Everist, you've done well there. You could've added details of how Hillary was feeling, like aching legs or gasping for breath. When he makes it try saying he felt exhilerated or triumphant. Back then he might have been discouraged from showing emotions but he could still have felt them deep inside himself.
There's no shame in being afraid or worried from time to time, but we musn't let it take over our lives. I'm s grown man and I worry at times. Only idiots never worry at all, but its possible to have bad times and come out the other side.
I enjoyed this story. It soon became clear how it would end, but you evoke the narrator and the animals very well. Most pet owners will relate to it.