IanG

The descriptions of the mountain are good. Perhaps you could've had some banter between the characters. It would establish them as individuals we could root for rathet than all of them thinking alike

'They thought it couldn't get any worse but it did" reads bettet than 'it couldn't get any worse but it did.'

You could have described a fight between man and wolf, that or him chasing her or both. Its hard to imagine a wolf going down without attempting to resist.

You keep saying the same thing several times, not least how hortrible the monster is. You can say it only a few times and we get the message. When severed heads arrive in a box we can see this thing is violent. You tell us our hero was born to a peasant, then he wasn't nobly born. Its clear he's not if his parents were peasants.

The plot will appeal to lovers of fantasy, just try to avoid over writing

You wrote a tense buildup as she tried and failed to kill him. I wondered how she was going to get out of it.

'More thoroughly' didn't feel right in that context. 'More forcefully' or 'more severely' would've conveyed Mum's determination better. I hope this proves helpful.

There are some good descriptions and a good twist, but twists need to be foreshadowed. Perhaps a police officer could notice Miriam's house was neat and tidy for someone with dementia, but then assume she had a good home help. That drops a hint that Miriam isnt as ill as she seems without giving everything away.

The opening is good. Perhaps you could spend a little more time building suspense. The man could hear birdsong at the start but then it stops and he wonders why. Alternatively he could think that normally there are sheep where he's walking, but today there are none. He might find a dead sheep but assume a fox or a stray dog of flesh and blood killed it.

I hope this proves helpful.

If the witch encounters an obsticle on the way to the cave it racks up the tension. An evil wizard might be guarded by a monster of some sort. The witch could defend herself with a powerful spell, or maybe make herself invisible until past the danger
Please take this as a constructive critique