United Kingdom • 60 y/oReviews Given
This is an evocative, if sad, story. I took a holidsy in Kingussie many years ago and I like dogs, so it struck a chord with me. Well done.
The opening is good. Perhaps you could spend a little more time building suspense. The man could hear birdsong at the start but then it stops and he wonders why. Alternatively he could think that normally there are sheep where he's walking, but today there are none. He might find a dead sheep but assume a fox or a stray dog of flesh and blood killed it.
I hope this proves helpful.
This has a good rythem especially at the start.
As in earlier stories about this gang, you evoke a more innocent time very well.
A lot of young people will relate to this. Its quite usual to break up with someone while in your teens. The trouble is, if its your first break up you've nothing to compare it with and no experience of getting over it. Give yourself time to reflect and recover. It won't seem like it now, but there's time to move on and meet someone else.
This is an atmospheric, imaginative piece. You make good use of other senses besides sight. Keep it up.
I sincerety hope things get better for you soom Scorp. The word weept should be wept but that's a minor issue. I think you're showing courage and resiliance but I wish yoi didn't have to.
This is a good story with a moving ending. I could imagine myself there.