Kat

This was great! Slightly confusing, but I get the point. I think you did very well. The ending could be explained slightly more, but I like it.

Nice! There's one thing - your lines don't have the same rhythm all the way through. What I mean by that is at on part the first line rhymed with the second, at at the end it was the first and third.
I love the meaning of this poem and can't wait to hear more from you!

Definetly!! I get where you are coming from, my friend!
I few grammar errors and the wrong "then" at one point, but besides that I am very impressed and LOVED IT!

I loved the feeling and emotional roller coaster you put the readers through. There were a few grammar errors:
"So so so" should be "so, so, so"
And so one. But I enjoyed your story and hope to hear more from you!

I loved the discriptipn! Please do write more! I want to see where this is going!
But one reminded:
Make sure that you know who's point of view you are speaking in. You switched from Rebecca's to Micheals really fast, and had no seperation of the two.
Besides that, it was great!

I love it! The feeling is great and makes the whole concept come to life!
There is one thing you would want to work on, though. It seems like you keep on using the same rhyme a few times more than it is needed. Sometimes when you overuse the same syllable, it makes the reader feel like they are droning.
I love your work so far and cannot wait to read more!
-Kat

I think that the concept and feeling that the poem gives is amazing and most definitely wanted!
One thing that you might want to work on is the feeling, the rhythm of the lines. They have to flow together seemlessly, and right now there are a few minor bumps in them.
I love your writing so far and cannot wait to hear more from you!!
-Kat

Amazing!!! Loved it!!! Please continue with other stories!!!!