Reviews Given
Okey, here's my review:
Positive - really got the audience wondering what will happen next and the pot line is going slow enough to get the setting started and gave the reader a sense of what's happening.
Negative- it seems that in some places you forgot to read over the text and it was hard to follow what a few mistaken words meant. I advise reading over it out loud.
(I'm trying the whole criticism thing - am I good at it yet?)
Great so far!! Please do write more! -KP
It sounds great, a few punctual and grammatical errors, but so far it sounds pretty good.
I understand what it is to first wade into the water. I slowly went in, but at chest deep I realized that the shore was becoming harder to see.
I find that it is easier to go in than out. You can come in, in less than three minutes. You come out from three months to three years - and to some even more.
It is hard to be in these hardships, you feel that you can't reach out for help because you are embarrassed about what you have done - or feel that they wouldn't understand.
Hang in here! -KP
Great job! Touching and tear-bringing. I know it wasn't one of your strongest works, but it was one of the good ones that I have read on this website. (Sometimes people write about cat fur and it drives me nuts!!!)
You're doing great! -KP
Sounds great! A little short but I get where you're going.
-KP
Wow!! Touching and wondering!! I have so many unanswered questions, though.
Why did the wife and children disappear? Were they dead before or were they just trying to coax him out of bed from the window? Is that why he got up? Because he wanted to see his wife and kids?
Great job! -KP
Wow! Really discriptive! Makes me want to write something like that. I think I will stick to short romance stories though 😜. Seems to be what I'm good at.
Keep writing! -KP
This has a true meaning, but sounds a little hasty or rushed, and make me question if you should've made this a poem of not. Though the message is clear and knowing, which I love to see.
-KP
Now that's what you I'm talking about! I felt that you had true meaning and feeling behind this, some past experience that made you feel deep down that you didn't wish this upon anyone.
The rhyming was more decent, but the meaning is more.
Keep writing! -KP