United States • 43 y/o • FemaleReviews Received
I agree with lemonslice. You shouldn't start a story without knowing who is speaking.
Beyond that, I enjoyed the story, keep up the good work!
Overall, nice story but there were a few mistakes like:
"I have you know.." instead of:
"I'll have you know.."
Just make sure you read over your stories before submitting them so you can check over these few mistakes.
Funny vignette. The trick to writing excellent flash fiction is to cut out all the pleasantries when characters talk. So the "Hello, how are you?" dialogue has to go every time. Also, make sure you don't start with a dialogue without letting the reader know who's talking.
Keep it up!
Oh my gosh, I love it! With littler sibling myself, I hope there will never come the day when I have to watch them suffer through heartbreaks and smiteness (is that a word?).
I love your writing!!!
The plot line of this story was fantastic. However there were many missing pieces and it made certain parts choppy and seemed to be skipped over. Besides that I really enjoyed this story!