United States • 22 y/o • FemaleReviews Given
A good job at expressing hopelessness
Simple and strong.
The only suggestion would be to add stronger words to really grip the emotions, but the structure set the tone and still made it great. I appreciated the subtle contrast.
You have a lot of potential and I like stories that are based off of a true event, even if some of the facts could be argued. The ideas within the story were good. There were some grammatical errors. I feel like you could add more emotion through the use of your structure and diction that would leave a more intense lasting impression. Your beginning and ending were good- maybe try using different writing techniques and details throughout the whole story that would really make it great. Overall, good story.
I like how you showed how the rose develops overtime and recovers and blooms again, as does love. I also enjoyed your use of the word "momentary" when you say "It brings momentary beauty with its blossom".
I liked how repetitive the word addiction was because it shows how when you're an addict, it's all you can think of. It was well set up as the short voice an addict has. However, I feel as though you could've done better with the additives in between, possibly by making them more controversial and really showing the battle that addict fight. But I really like the last line.
I like how repetitive it was and how it flowed, and I also like the format. I especially like the ending because it shows how resolved everything is in the end. Good poem
The poem was really well put together, grabbed your attention, and most importantly, left an impression. It's brave of you to share your story, and because of that bravery, I have faith that you'll also be strong enough to fight this.
Okay, this is fantastically crazy and random and I love it and I can't get enough