United States • 23 y/oReviews Received
What the heck, why do you insist on making me cry
An amazing piece of writing. Well done.
I don't think the descriptions are excessive at all, I think you did exactly what you set out to do: create an incredibly detailed picture of the world. I'm not sure I've ever had text give me such a clear picture of a scene as this did. Heck, even most videos don't provide so clear a picture, and they can literally show you a picture. There's a nice sense of time and space as well, like you just spent most of the day casually wandering alone in the forest.
Perhaps I might say there are too many different types of trees, which might be what could give the impression of too much detail. Maybe stick to one or two; I think fewer species of tree would be more in line with what I seen in real forests anyway, and that gives you more room you could use to describe other things.
I would also say that the harsher elements (the thorns, the wolves, the cats) do stand out a lot against the otherwise comforting and almost idyllic world. I don't think that is a bad thing though. In fact, I think perhaps some more time spent on these elements would make it even better. Because they stand out so much, they have more meaning, and I think it would be good to capitalize on that.
The descriptions, like you said, are excessive, and if you don't feel like actively immersing yourself in it, it's probably impossible to get through this whole story. BUT, when I did immerse myself in it, it was pretty incredible how many layers of beauty were here, and how vividly I could see/hear/smell the forest.
yes, i quite enjoy this.
please don't stop writing- i need stuff like this to binge-read. <3
This hurts even more than Grief hurt me
Why must you do this