lemonslice

I like how you formatted the poem, but the words didn't invoke anything for me. I didn't feel anything. Take this line for example:

"I burn like ashes"

What does that even mean? Do ashes burn?

A line like "I often think of death" could be made much more visceral, making the reader feel something rather than just read a simple statement.

Funny vignette. The trick to writing excellent flash fiction is to cut out all the pleasantries when characters talk. So the "Hello, how are you?" dialogue has to go every time. Also, make sure you don't start with a dialogue without letting the reader know who's talking.

Keep it up!

Nice little piece only spoilt by a scattered number of typos and grammatical errors.

A pretty interesting prose poem, even though it's been done to death a thousand times before. Be mindful of the difference between "then" and "than".

I wish you had unpacked this prose poem more. Describe the emotions of being lost in these woods. Juxtapose it with the guy's life outside.

Be bold.

And be mindful of your spelling and grammar.

Your prose is quite good, Kaleigh, but you don't have a story here. This is a scene from, I presume, a much larger work or a simple vignette.

Does heartache make one a monster? In that case the world is only populated by monsters, which is a bit ... untrue.

Hiya,

I'd say this is a character vignette or a scene, rather than a story. For the most part, it's quite good but like other here say: think about the words you use. Less is more and don't substitute clarity with flowery prose that don't really mean anything.

Having a character waking up and preparing themselves for a day is cliché and something you should avoid in your writing. Always start your story as close to the inciting incident as possible. Keep up the writing!