Australia • 35 y/oReviews Received
i like it
Lots of emotions and tension in so few words. Well done!
When a piece is this short, however, you need to make sure every word is pulling its weight. Currently, they don't, but it's definitely a good effort.
Sorry, this makes no sense to me. You need to use proper punctuation and grammar if you want to be a writer.
Your story is let down by poor grammar.