United States • 31 y/oReviews Received
This was an interesting story - until the unnecessary last line. For me, it completely killed the tension and drama of what had gone previously, which is a real shame. On the whole, though, an engaging submission.
OMG!! I love this story!! its really good I like the description you used, felt like I was Sara And I felt like i was in the story! ^.^
Good story line that could if been amazing but your language used was a bit simple. I'm not saying it's bad, just try and use different and interesting language to really have that meaningful effect of the story!
this was good, but told many times in different versions. well what you added to it was good, it was very vague and very been there done that. i don't mean to offend you, this is just my opinion
I love depressing stories and this was a great example..!
love it
depressing...but it has a great moral to it
Well, goodbye soul. Bye emotions, bye mind walls. This story crumbles my mind in a flash, something previously unknown to me in writing. Good job, keep writing!