United States • 48 y/o • MaleReviews Received
Hi
I like the rhythm of your poem; it was nice to read a poem with a rhyming scheme (I'm a bit old school). My mind stretched as I read your words. A prescient, powerful message.
I'm not normally a poetry lover, but I do like this one very much.
I just have one question: is there a reason you used the word 'shined' instead of 'shone'?
It's very hard to pull off something of this style - all the perspective changes, time jumping, mediums etc. I think you did really well! Especially as a short story, it can be a challenge to compact so many ideas into such a... scale.
I love the playing on words! Keep up this great writing mate :3
Awesome prayer.
Love how its laid out . Its like your there !
You can't wait to see what happenes next by the first 2 paragraphs .Great job Matt ,
