United States • 48 y/o • MaleReviews Received
I see what yoi're saying and a lot of people will relate to it. A lot of us have had to give up on a dream for one reason or another. Some of us fail using one way, then find another that works. Some people loose one dream but find another that fills the gap. Others are not so lucky.
Perhaps the important thing is to have a plan b. Contrary to what some politicians seem to think there's no shame im having one of those. We can never be sure things will always go our way.
Interesting twist at the end. Put things in deeper perspective.
Beautifully crafted
Inspirational rap is on the map!
Hi
I like the rhythm of your poem; it was nice to read a poem with a rhyming scheme (I'm a bit old school). My mind stretched as I read your words. A prescient, powerful message.
I'm not normally a poetry lover, but I do like this one very much.
I just have one question: is there a reason you used the word 'shined' instead of 'shone'?
I love the ending, and the main idea is really cool.
Usually I'm into your structure and rhyme scheme, but this... I'm just not getting the Matt Decker vibe unlike in such writings of Jungle In The Gym or I Am ELIAN.
This seems pretty cut and dry whereas the ones I believe are your best are the elaborate, word/phrase-shifting, abstract concepts.