Usually I'm into your structure and rhyme scheme, but this... I'm just not getting the Matt Decker vibe unlike in such writings of Jungle In The Gym or I Am ELIAN.
This seems pretty cut and dry whereas the ones I believe are your best are the elaborate, word/phrase-shifting, abstract concepts.
Hi
I like the rhythm of your poem; it was nice to read a poem with a rhyming scheme (I'm a bit old school). My mind stretched as I read your words. A prescient, powerful message.
I'm not normally a poetry lover, but I do like this one very much.
I just have one question: is there a reason you used the word 'shined' instead of 'shone'?