United States • 23 y/o • FemaleReviews Given
The plot line of this story was fantastic. However there were many missing pieces and it made certain parts choppy and seemed to be skipped over. Besides that I really enjoyed this story!
I thought the story was okay. There were a few grammatical errors that created a few 'hiccups' for me.
Overall the story was fine but, I think in this one extremely rare case I slightly agree with Apemann. Other than that it was good.
This story is good, however it is almost exactly like one I wrote before this...
Underneath all of the grammar mistakes and spelling errors there is a good story. Throughout the piece you make many errors such as punctuation, spelling, grammar, repeating, and hard to read descriptions. I don't say this to discourage you, this is a very good idea and I think with enough hard work and time you could reshape this into something amazing, but next time a little more care for errors. Overall it is a very creative idea. Keep writing!