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ThomastheRay's Profile

Thomas Ray

ThomastheRay is from US United States • 22 y/o • Male

Hi, welcome to my profile. If you'd like feedback on your writing send me a message!

Reviews Given

take flight (part two) by ♥ ᵍ๏вℓ𝓲ℕ ♥

I'm loving these short segments!

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take flight (part three) by ♥ ᵍ๏вℓ𝓲ℕ ♥

I have one tip. Everli seemed very upset about the notebook being read, but when she found out who it was that did that, she rolled her eyes and moved on. I want to really get into her head, to see how she reacts and why. That being said, I'm super excited to see how this friendship will grow. You've given me a major boost of inspiration. If I found a book this captivating at say, a library, I would definitely check it out.
I'm super excited for the next part.

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A Breath of Kindness by NorthernPhoenix

I... I don't know what to say. I'm speechless.

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Wings by kkhause

I don't have to question how I feel about this. I just love it.

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Secrets (Prologue) by melissak

Well, I can't guess the ending, but this was impressive writing. I've got a few things to say, I hope you don't mind.
This feels nore like a chapter one than a prologue--but that's not a bad thing. Usually prologues are parts of the story that either take place a while before the rest, or that are about a different character than the rest of the book. Basically, prologues are critical parts of the story that don't fit in the rest of the narration. This felt a lot like a first chapter because it showed me your character's normal world (with some exciting extraordinary things thrown in) and told me loads about the character herself. Which leads me to the next bit of praise.
Your main character. I hope you're keeping her as the main, because I'm so intrigued. Mostly by the part where she goes and yells at that aweful father. That takes guts! She's seriously so brave, and that took me by surprise. Well done.
The paragraph explaining the red door and music box and taking four friends was beautiful. It felt so intentional and professional, and perfect. It also gave me the feeling that their world is going to change soon. Or maybe that it's already changing.
So good job. You've made a character I already care about in chapter one. Or prologue.
How much more of this do you have, I'm excited. Also, I hope this review doesn't come across as creepy or overbearing; I tend to get a little too excited.

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people by scorp

I LOVE the format.

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You Lie by Annielol399

I like the use of bold words. It makes the emotions a little stronger.
Five stars

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The House of the Rising Sun by Mitzi Danielson-Kaslik

Well. I'm not sure how to say what I'm feeling, so I'll say I love it and hope that says what it should. Seriously, this was so overwhelmingly descriptive! I love the feel of it, it's just so good!

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