United States • 56 y/oReviews Received
I love it! You gave a voice to the things that we throw out despite the sentiment that is attached to them . you gave your beloved blankie a soul and a voice.
Great short story, very well written.
Love this story...... Reminded me of cherished items that meant so much to me
Very well written story with a nail biting element! Often times these sorts of things turn out horribly and this is an important lesson showing the dangers of being naive.
A very unusual story and a little chilling, for some reason. A brilliant idea, though.
Well written story
The part when the blanket comes alive really detaches from the story and makes it seem confusing and it doesn't fit in with the theme. If you just left it where she threw it out and was sad, that is a lot better than the jumbled mess of personification you made. Other than that, it's a pretty good story.
There is the basis here for a good story. Unfortunately you have not really told it very well. The scenes are clichéd and the dialogue stilted. There is little natural 'flow' to the story. You move from one idea or scenario with little in the way of explanation, which gives the story a somewhat 'clunky' feel.
You have also failed to follow the submission guidelines; the use of numerals in prose is very bad practice, yet there are numerous examples in your story. Number references should always be written in full: twelve years old, three-thirty, nine-one-one, for example.
Take time to check your spelling: "she manages not to hit another care..." would not be picked-up by your spell checker.
There is much to recommend in your story; at the same time it has many flaws. You write well but need to practice your art more - and to read more to get a better feel of how a story flows.