United States • 56 y/oReviews Received
Love this story...... Reminded me of cherished items that meant so much to me
Great short story, very well written.
I love it! You gave a voice to the things that we throw out despite the sentiment that is attached to them . you gave your beloved blankie a soul and a voice.
A good story well told. However, I found your introduction to the story annoying: I do not like to be told how I will feel before I have even begun to read a story. Please read my piece 'How to Write a Teaser'. You might find it helpful and informative...
I quite liked the premise of your story. However, I found the unnecessary time references off-putting and the rather clunky "she goes" and "she comes" and so on also jarred. There are many good points to your story: I hope you will submit more of your work soon.
There is the basis here for a good story. Unfortunately you have not really told it very well. The scenes are clichéd and the dialogue stilted. There is little natural 'flow' to the story. You move from one idea or scenario with little in the way of explanation, which gives the story a somewhat 'clunky' feel.
You have also failed to follow the submission guidelines; the use of numerals in prose is very bad practice, yet there are numerous examples in your story. Number references should always be written in full: twelve years old, three-thirty, nine-one-one, for example.
Take time to check your spelling: "she manages not to hit another care..." would not be picked-up by your spell checker.
There is much to recommend in your story; at the same time it has many flaws. You write well but need to practice your art more - and to read more to get a better feel of how a story flows.
A very thought out, well written story. The imagery is phenomenal and the abstract thought put into making this blanket have human characteristics, and showing how sometimes items with sentimental value really are more than just items is top notch. These objects have provided warm, comforting experience and have done the job of a loving, caring family member. Hands down a wonderfully written and thought out story.
A very comedic story with a very serious undertone and an important lesson we can all take from this. The humorous style and paragraph structure is built perfectly for pulling one in to the story. If only the story was longer, because I was hooked fast and could have read on and on!