United States • 23 y/o • MaleReviews Received
Spooky... I loved reading this! I think that one thing you did right, was all the description. That made a huge deal. One 'wrong' that really isn't that bad is that I wish there was more interaction with the mannequins. Other than that, I think you did an amazing job! :)
really good. loved the detail!
woow it is scary but really good
the story would anyones heart
i love it
really good!
Try writing 'dad was upstairs working on his computer' rather than 'the computer.' If Mom is in the kitchen working on a computer its a different one than Dad is using.
You portray a child's emotions plausibly, and I like the detail about the spiders webs moving. Perhaps you could've had them find out later if someone died prematurely in the house, or if a previous occupant had a scary experience there.
i love it