AaronTheRocker

Ah, I like the valiant knight coming in. Sounds like a real badass to me.

If you have characterized the "poisonous" voices as wild beastly creatures, or pillagers- something of foul nature in time with knights and chivalry, I'd think that fit in very well, especially since the breaking point saying "SHUT UP" seemed to be like a damsel-in-distress moment. But considering that it's a poem of thoughts in a general sense, it still works fine.

I know I've been talking a lot about 8th-16th century time-style and I'm sorry for that. I just got up in that thought process after seeing the valiant knight.

Alright, alright, I got into it. I like the concept.

For the intro, the repetition is nice, but it's too much repetition in my opinion. Perhaps if it had a break in it like,
"The ghost in my room talks to me
The ghost no one believes
The ghost in my room that helped me clean
The ghost that went away..."
Feel me on that?

Also I see a lot of filler words that elongates the progression of this work.

Killer ending though. Just reading the last line by itself is great.

Not too shabby, not too shabby.

I've noticed there's a lot of "and" in the writing which really got to me. Some words work well with repetition, but the word "and" just doesn't seem to fit in here.

I do like your note at the end. Respect. Respect. That is how I am sometimes so I understand what you say.

Respectable concept to a story of a classic horror style. "Re imagination" and "Mashup" would be what I perceive of this story being in similar relation of Alvin Schwartz's 'Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark' with the short story Headlights, and having a unique twist to the backstory at the end of the writing in which I thought of 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'.

Quite a few grammatical errors and having the story flow fast threw me off a bit- didn't really get to sink my mind into the story until the ending with backstory of it all which was pretty cool to read.