Skylar

You describe the setting very well and the banter reads plausible. If you develop it further, show how distraught your protagonists family are at her disappearence. That adds emotional richness and credibilitu.

This is so beautiful and tragic. Made me cry. Well done!

You should go talk to them! It'll be difficult, but I'm sure they'd love to meet you.

Very captivating idea. I liked realizing what was happening, and since this is a story about merpeople, it's inherently interesting.

3.5 stars. ;) I like the writing style, and I thought the concept was interesting. This would be a story that I'd enjoy getting to know a few more details of, like why he was stowing away and what happens after he transforms into a merperson.

Nice analogy. Frustrating how it can be so much harder to move on than to continue waiting, even though it hurts.

I like the rhetoric of this. And it's relatable.

Good prose.