Bangladesh • 23 y/o • MaleReviews Received
'Thoughts of her would keep me up through the night' reads better than 'her thoughts would...etc.'
Nevertheless its a sharp and disturbing twist in the final lines. You handled that well. You do right in bringing smell as well as sight into your descriptions. Keep writing.
I like your descriptions and your treatment of a difficult subject. Not everyone will agree with the parent's beliefs but many would relate to their situation.
I suspected that girl in a coma and girl on the balcony were the same before the big reveal but your writing shows promise.
Well-written minimalism, and the title tells us all, what to expect!
You wrote 'lung' when I think you meant 'lungs' plural but this is still a vivid, hard hitting piece. Well done.
We are happy to nominate your story to feature in the "THE WORLD WRITES Awards 2020 under the category 50 best short stories of the year. It's an international anthology which features only the best works of the writers around the world with regards to poems, articles or short stories.
You will receive a free ebook once it's published and also a certicificate of Congratulations.
Ebooks will be distributed for free.
Congratulations on your nomination.
Kindly send an email to [email protected] for more info.
Taonga Mutambo Jr
Chief Editor at "THE WOLRD WRITES AWARDS"
You evoke the battle and your narrator's plight afterwards very well. I guessed the ending before the boy and Jake met up again, yet it still moved me. Well done.
Fresh flowers that smell etherial, brought in from the garden" reads better than "fresh flowers brought in from the garden that smell etherial." Otherwise your descriptions are excellent. A simple story but beautifully told.
These are good descriptions and an interesting premise. I hope you keep writing.