United States • 19 y/o • FemaleReviews Given
Overall, nice story but there were a few mistakes like:
"I have you know.." instead of:
"I'll have you know.."
Just make sure you read over your stories before submitting them so you can check over these few mistakes.
Very short and choppy sentences that can be turned into fuller sentences. For example:
Sarah is dead. It's been 10 days since Sarah died. I still can't believe she's gone.
My version: It has been ten days since Sarah died. I still cannot believe she is gone.
See how much smoother my version is? Interesting plot, however your grammar needs improvement.
Wow! This is great, I love this a lot! Write more poems, you have he talent in you.
-Auron
Wow! This is one of the rare times that a story had left me begging for more! Please continue, I love this!
-Auron
This is a great story! Although, it would be better if there were chapters. It seems like there should be more. Like, how her parents died, for example, and about her Aunt. There were a few grammar mistakes that can be easily fixed.
Other than that, I enjoyed this short story. Good job!
What a beautiful story <3
Very good! I enjoy this story a lot! Missing a few commas here and there, but it's probably different in the U.K.
I'm actually laughing really hard right now. This is the best story I've ever read. Keep up the fantastic work!