United States • 21 y/o • FemaleReviews Given
This is a great story! One of the better ones I've seen. Will you write any more?
This is very touching as Christian myself, good job!
Overall, nice story but there were a few mistakes like:
"I have you know.." instead of:
"I'll have you know.."
Just make sure you read over your stories before submitting them so you can check over these few mistakes.
Very short and choppy sentences that can be turned into fuller sentences. For example:
Sarah is dead. It's been 10 days since Sarah died. I still can't believe she's gone.
My version: It has been ten days since Sarah died. I still cannot believe she is gone.
See how much smoother my version is? Interesting plot, however your grammar needs improvement.